I once had a client – let’s call her Ayesha – who noticed that one of her good friends started making subtle, slightly schnide remarks to her. It was nothing too big and they could have been passed off as jokes, so she ignored it for a while.
One time they met up and Ayesha’s husband was there and her friend seemed to pay more attention to him than to her and was acting quite errrm… ‘friendly’ towards him. Fortunately, Ayesha knew she wasn’t her husband’s type at all (thank God!) and he was being his usual self – but her friend was almost starting to embarrass herself. Ayesha and her husband had a bit of a giggle about it afterwards – but they figured that if anyone else had seen it, they would have been a little shocked.
Who knows? Maybe Ayesha’s friend was just going through something and weird, but it would pass.
A few weeks later, Ayesha mentioned to her friend a big new passion project she was starting, that could potentially become a heart-centered business in a few years… and guess how her friend responded?
That’s right – with zero excitement or support. She basically told her the business was a dumb idea and it was dead in the water. (This friend has zero business experience or knowledge – and I happen to KNOW, as someone who’s done a lot of business coaching that it was a GREAT idea!)
This was all really shocking to Ayesha, because in the past this friend had earned her trust and become a confidant. She used to always support her ideas – that’s one of the reasons they connected in the first place.
When Ayesha asked my advice on the situation, her biggest observation was that whenever she interacts with this friend these days, she just comes home feeling completely drained.
Eventually, I pointed something out to her:
It’s not her friend.
Ayesha herself is the one who’s been changing.
Since she started working with me a few short years ago, Ayesha had dropped a load of unwanted body fat, got that side-hustle business started and bringing in real money doing what she loves, improved her marriage to the point where it’s the kind she used to dream of… and most importantly:
Ayesha’s level of consciousness has sky-rocketed.
All of this is a lot for anyone to take in – especially for a ‘friend’ who’s not joining you on the journey and is still moaning about things that you let go of years ago and that you literally never even think about any more.
The solution here is NOT to suddenly cut out the friend who she now finds draining.
The solution is to change the framing of her relationship with that friend.
Until now, she’d seen the relationship as one where she can keep her guard down, and freely bounce around on different topics and explore how each other think about things.
That’s probably not going to work any more.
Instead, I suggested a subtle but spiritually powerful ‘shift’ in the way she thinks about this relationship, which instantly stopped it from being a drag.
Now, Ayesha has more awareness – she doesn’t let the friend in too close, but isn’t being distant or aloof either. Ayesha can now pour high-vibe, spiritually loving energy into her friendship, without letting her friend bother her or drain her any more.
The best part is, she didn’t need to confront the friend, create more drama, get into a fight with her or rip her for acting silly in front of her husband.
Instead of all that, she just changed the “friendship frame” & gave the relationship a spiritual upgrade.
How did she do that exactly?
By learning The Prophetic Approach To Dealing With Negative People.
Which is, by the way, the title of the next Nafs Mastery training session.
If you want to sign up for it, the deadline is this Friday at 11:59pm UK time.
Here’s where to access it along with a complete, life-changing training program on how to spiritually connect with Allah, master the nafs, become your best self and transform your relationships:
