The quality of your marriage, and your life, is directly proportional to the depth of your spiritual presence. There’s no mystery behind the fact that the Prophet (peace & blessings upon him) was the most spiritually elevated human being and was, as a result, the “best to his family”.
The secret hiding in plain sight, is the deep level of presence he brought to all of his interactions.
‘Presence’ and ‘mindfulness’ are not just buzzwords. They’re the key to a happy, successful, spiritually connected life.
And without them, no matter how much we try to act upon religious teachings, more often than not, we’ll miss the point of them… because quite often, presence is the point.
What exactly is presence?
Presence is the state of having one’s attention fully in the current moment, discarding mental activity based on thoughts of past & future, and by extension, being aware that A is with you, now. By going deeply into this state, we can almost feel Allah’s presence.
For all acts of spiritual devotion, whether it’s the formal daily prayer (salah), Quran recitation or zikr itself, presence is the internal, psychological state that is hidden beneath the external religious form.
It may be clear how ‘presence’ improves our spiritual life, but what’s it got to do with marriage, relationships and family life?
When we’re in a state of presence, love flows naturally and easily, without us trying to “get it” from the outside world, or from our partners. As we grow in spiritual presence, connected to the Most Loving, our hearts are filled up with love and we find that we can give it away freely.
In this state, resilience appears to be endless. Happiness becomes our norm and the onset of anger, insecurity and upset naturally falls away. These negative states of mind cannot exist for long in the light of the presence of our conscious awareness.
What happens to a marriage when one or both partners become trained in deepening their level of presence?
It becomes a place of ‘sakinah’ (tranquility), ‘muwaddah’ (affection) and ‘rahma’ (loving kindness), as the well-known Quran verse points us towards:
“Another of His signs is that He created spouses from among yourselves for you to live with in tranquillity: He ordained love and kindness between you. There truly are signs in this for those who reflect.”
Inspired by this verse, for the first time ever, I’m holding an live, online, 2-day couple’s retreat designed from the ground up to dramatically increase your level of presence, the amount of time you can enjoy being in this profound state, and how it connects with the prophetic ideal of a loving marriage.
Here’s what we cover over these 2 life-changing days:
- Prophetic Presence – the hadith that contains 5 hidden ways you can instantly enter the state of ‘presence’ and several insights that cause us to remain in this blissful state of mind for longer periods of time… and enjoy much more presence in prayer
- The Inner Salam Method – my favourite way of dealing with intense, negative emotions in the ‘heat of the moment’ – particularly useful during or after a heated discussion – that always leads to a deep sense of inner-peace and a complete ‘letting go’
- The Psychological Switch – the profound insight that has saved countless marriages many times over (including my own!) and 7 ways it can powerfully impact and immediately improve your relationship
- Communicating with Love – the ultimate secret to great communication between couples that stops arguments and conflicts dead in their tracks and gets you on the same ‘team’ in the face of any issue or challenge
- Successful Marriage Systems – The exact marriage practices, given to me by a wise Sheikh, along with the warning: “if you don’t do this, and you get divorced, it will be totally your own fault”. (NOTE: Any time my wife and I are having challenges, it always coincides with me NOT implementing one of these 5 key systems.)
If you want to explore what your marriage or family life could look like if you were infused with a deeper level of presence and spiritual connection with Allah, then take a deep, conscious breath. Realise Allah (the all-Aware) is with you now. Ask Allah (the Loving Guide) for guidance.
And read the details here:
