Ever wonder why good guys go for the really, really, wrong type of women?
Or why intelligent, attractive women keep going back to a partner who treats them badly?
There is a comprehensive explanation for almost all of the drama that happens before a couple gets married (and some of the drama that sometimes happens after they get married too!).
And the explanation is this:
Attraction is NOT a choice.
If we could choose who to be attracted to, there would be no drama and no problems whatsoever in finding and keeping a partner. It would also make for a pretty boring TV, take the plot out of every Hollywood rom-com, and take the drama out of every Bollywood movie.
If that were the case, as soon as you found someone who matched you on paper, you could flip on the ‘attraction switch’, fall madly in love and live happily ever after with them. And as soon as someone treated you badly, you could just flip off the attraction switch, and quickly and easily get over them and move on with your life.
Unfortunately, in reality, there is no such thing as an ‘Attraction Switch’.
There’s just a relationship reality, which when you understand properly, has the power to make your love life much, much easier: You don’t choose who to be attracted to. This relationship reality has far reaching implications in your search for an ideal partner.
Firstly, never marry someone you’re not attracted to because it’s not something you can easily just turn on afterwards. Plus, sooner or later they’ll realise it and it’s not really fair on them.
Secondly, it doesn’t matter how attracted you are to someone, that doesn’t necessarily make them a great partner.
The truth is you need both. You need to find someone that you are attracted to and who is attracted to you, and someone who matches all of your marriage criteria – especially the criteria I give you in the compatibility assessment in the Meet and Marry The One course.
Even though there’s no switch you can flip for attraction, there is a “Psychological Switch” you can flip that makes it much more easy for you to be as attractive as you can possibly be internally, so you can have the kind of relationships you want.
