A question came in the other day, from a client who scheduled in a “Personal Breakthrough Session” with me and they were a little bit perturbed.
They were going through my online programs like “The Psychological Switch” and “Meet and Marry the One”, but there was something about what they were learning that really turned them off.
Here’s the question she asked me:
“In your programmes you say that my feeling is just my thinking. But I was abused when I was younger. I went through some terrible, abusive events. Are you blaming me, the victim?! Are you saying the way that I feel is my fault and I should just change my thinking..?!”
After she asked the question, I paused. And smiled.
Her question was not surprising.
In fact, it’s one of the most common questions that people ask just before they have an enormous insight into the nature and power of thought.
MY ANSWER:
All of the therapy you’ve been through and all of the self help books you’ve read, and all of the coaches you’ve spoken to, have all told you that because these terrible things happened in the past, you are now trapped. That those events have somehow done something to you, or to your mind, and that ‘something’ is now stopping you from living a wonderfully enriching life.
If it was true – that all of the terrible abusive events that happened in the past are causing your feelings now – then you would be trapped for the rest of your life. Because there’s one thing that neither you nor I nor any therapist can do… which is invent a time machine to go back and stop the past abuse from happening.
If, on the other hand, those psychological theories were incorrect, and nothing in the past has the power to cause your feelings, now…
And the ONLY thing that can possibly cause your feelings now is your thinking now…
…Then you’re free.
Why?
Because nothing can control or determine or predict your thinking in this moment.
In other words, your entire life you’ve been imprisoned by the thought or ‘belief’ – that the past event has been causing all of your upset feelings and emotions. And because of that belief, you were stuck with lots of upset feelings and emotions that you couldn’t possibly have gotten out of – because you know you can’t change the past.
The moment you stop believing that your upset feelings and emotions come from what happened in the past, that stops appearing to be true for you. Not only is this a much more empowering belief… it’s much better than a belief…
…It’s actually TRUE!
The truth of the matter is that the only thing powerful enough to cause your feelings now is your thinking now. Your past experiences, no matter how traumatic, cannot limit that power. The past in reality doesn’t even exist anymore, and has zero power over your next thought.
What I’m saying is that, it is literally impossible for you to be a victim, psychologically speaking.
Because the only thing that has ever caused your feelings is thought. How can you be a victim of your own thought?! It’s a formless reality that Allah gifted you. And the moment you wake up to how powerful thought is, you’re free.
We all have the same spiritual, God-given gift called ‘thought’ and we can use it to have a wonderful life and we can use it to have a terrible time.
I have zero judgement about how anybody uses this powerful, precious gift.
I have all the compassion in the world for anyone who uses it against themselves, because everyone does, until they realise how powerful it is.
As a believer, the Prophet peace and blessings upon him, recommend me to advise both the oppressor and the oppressed. The truth is, both the oppressor and the oppressed are both innocently falling for the same illusion, that leads them to hurt themselves and (in some cases) others. The illusion that “the way I feel is caused by what you did”.
The truth is that the abuse that you suffered was absolutely wrong.
But it absolutely does not cause your feelings today.
The feelings you’re carrying are only hurting you, not your abuser.
You don’t have to hold on to them any more.
Simply knowing that your feelings are not caused by the past events automatically drops them.
************
As my ‘compassionate rant’ continued, I could visibly see all of her angst and stress melt away. By the end of the coaching session, she was smiling and laughing as though all her mis-trust had been misplaced and suddenly a lifetime of imagined internal struggle had been lifted from her shoulders.
I see this kind of transformation every day.
It’s not because I’m such a great coach.
It’s because my coaching is designed to point out a truth about how your mind already works, that makes all of our issues and hangups and inner-blocks disappear.
If you want to permanently free yourself from the illusion that causes psychological pain and suffering and leads to internal turmoil and hardship… and replace such erroneous thinking with the psychological, spiritual truth that might just free you forever…
…then I invite you to join my coaching program, “The Spiritual Switch”.
It’s available at a hefty discount for one more day (until Friday at 11:59pm), along with lots of bonuses and coaching with me. You get check it all out here:
