Recently in the Marriage Made Easy Mastermind, the topic was “Resentment Relief”, and I shared that when we’re very upset or angry or in a generally negative state of mind, it’s kind of like we’re completely…
Intoxicated.
Sure, we may not have ingested an illegal substance, but our state of mind is completely clouded with the negative feeling we’re stuck in.
That’s why when I see someone who’s super upset, I treat them in much the same way as I do if someone’s completely drunk: I’m as kind and respectful as I can be…
…But I don’t take a word they say seriously.
They don’t really know what they’re saying, and although they might come out with sometimes shockingly true statements… I’ll give them a free pass if they start talking rubbish.
What does this have to do with goals…?
Well, it turns out that there’s an ego-trap which gets us drunk on emotion and we start thinking and acting in regards to our goals, with the same level of foolishness as a person drunk on wine… or negative emotion.
It’s the innocuous, but insidious:
“I’ll be happy when…” trap.
And the moment you fall for it, you’re likely to get all kinds of positive, happy feelings when you think about your goals… that quickly descend into stressed, frustrated and negative feelings when you think about the very same goals.
Believing that the goal has the power to cause your feelings, makes you instantly attached and *almost* addicted to over-thinking about your goal, disproportionately, instead of simply taking action towards it.
Worse still, even if you achieve your goal, if you’re under the illusion that you’ll be happy/ proud/ fulfilled when you get there, you’ll likely have a few moments of feeling great and then be left with a lost “is this all there is?” and “okay, so what’s next..?” kind of feeling.
These types of goals, based on the Psychological Illusion that feelings don’t come from thought, are what you might think of as “Toxic Goals”.
And the minute you drink them (like most people do on New Years Eve), you become ‘intoxicated’, which may feel good for a few days… until the hangover kicks in.
Instead of Intoxicating Goals, you could have drama-free, emotional-rollercoaster-free, intelligent, simple, powerful, life-changing goals that don’t depend on your constantly-changing state of mind.
Goals that are worth achieving whether you feel good, or not.
Goals that are worth going for, and get you out of bed each day, eager to get to work, not because you think they’ll ‘give you a feeling’, but because feelings aside, they’re genuinely worth investing your time and life into.
To set and actually achieve pure, highly conscious goals, join the Dreams To Destiny Goal-Setting Workshop at 50% off.
Go here to get ‘high’ on life but never drunk on intoxicating goals:
