The other day I was being interviewed by one of the world’s foremost relationship coaches for single women.
(Her name’s Michelle, she’s awesome, and you can check out the interview on the link below).
During the interview, I was giving my perspective on how it’s possible that a person can begin to genuinely enjoy the process of finding their ideal partner – instead of going through an emotional roller-coaster every time they meet a potential.
At one point, I cheekily stopped to ask her a question (even though she was interviewing me).
And I’m extremely glad I did!
It’s something that’s come up hundreds of times in coaching sessions:
If a single Muslim woman sees an attractive potential… should she approach him?
The downside of the woman approaching is hopefully clear:
As much as the man might be relieved (it saved him the crippling fear of rejection), the woman is risking a lot: she’s putting herself in the ‘masculine’ position.
Now, even if he follows up with her, it’s unclear whether he’s really attracted to her or whether he just sees her as someone who’s easy, because she’s already into him and won’t reject him.
Plus, even if they’re a perfect match, get married and live happily ever after… the guy’s never gonna let her forget who approached who 😉
The upside of her approaching is:
She takes her shot! What if the only thing stopping them from falling in love, getting married and having a million babies was that social convention got in the way?!
The answer I heard from Michelle was incredible. Totally counter-intuitive to me… until I gave it some thought and realised:
“Hot damn… that’s genius… that would totally work and still put the man 100% in the masculine position and tap into his inner-chivalry.”
I’m pretty sure I said those exact words out loud… or something to that effect!
If you want the full download on how it can be done, check out Michelle Marchant Johnson’s summit and her interview of me (and my interview of her, as it turned out!) over here:
