Keeping in line with this week’s theme of Meet and Marry The One, let’s look at one of the most important qualities you can possibly build in yourself if you want to be successful in your search for your ideal partner.
(And if you’re lucky enough to already be married, and we’ll send you more relevant content).
Resilience, or ‘sabr’ in Arabic is one of the most important qualities that the Quran emphasizes over and over again and for good reason.
It’s essential for achieving all of our personal goals from fitness to finances, to finding love. Most people have some amount of resilience, but it wears very thin, very fast.
For example, when I’m helping clients find love, they’ll often go onto dating apps or websites, and then very quickly run out of energy. That’s because they meet a few weirdos. They get a few upsetting responses and to top things off, they’ll receive a really nasty message from someone when they’re having a bad day.
And all of this adds up.
Eventually the client will say something along the lines of,
“I can’t take any more of this. How much more of this am I supposed to take? What’s wrong with people? I’m only human.”
And just as certainly as they started out with positivity and hope, they’re now faced with a hopelessness, insecurity and fear of never meeting anyone and dying alone.
At that point, a pep talk might help a little, but if you require a pep talk, then something’s already gone wrong.
What’s really required is weeks or months before the client ever came close to hitting that point, for their coach to explain to them how the mind works in such a way that they achieve and experience almost unreasonable levels of resilience.
What do I mean by that?
It means the ability to keep going, even when all the odds are against you, the ability to stay on the dating app or the marriage website, even when you’ve received several rejections in a row, the ability to keep going on your fitness goals or financial goals, or in this case, your relationship goal, even when it would be perfectly reasonable for you to stop.
That kind of resilience is what champions are made of and it’s what makes your goals absolutely inevitable.
And as far as I’m aware, the only path to achieve that kind of resilience is to go through the “Psychological Switch”.
As soon as you have a deep understanding of the Psychological Reality, that feelings don’t come from apps or websites or rejection, but they come from the incredible power of thought, in the moment… all of a sudden, all of those challenges seem a lot less intimidating.
You’re no longer in the mindset of how much of *this* can I take, because you realize that it’s not the stuff that you’re taking from the outside that’s causing your state of mind.
You realize instead that it’s your state of mind, that is causing you to feel the way you do about the outside challenges.
This can be a little bit mind boggling the first time you come across it, which is why I’ve developed completely comprehensive programs to help us achieve all of our goals with a deep understanding of the Psychological Reality of how the mind actually works.
