A while back, I was coaching a wife who was having trouble at home.
She told me that she’s always frustrated and upset at her husband because he doesn’t “do” anything, so everything falls on her.
I asked her one question, which shook her up and made her react in the moment… but a week later, in our next session, she told me that all of the aggro and negativity around her home and marriage seems to have completely disappeared.
The question I asked her was:
“What would your marriage look like if you had no expectations on your partner?”
At first she didn’t get it.
Client: “That would be terrible – he wouldn’t do anything at all… and everything would fall on me!”
Me: “Didn’t you just tell me that that’s exactly what’s happening now anyway?”
Client: Yeah, I suppose.
Me: How would you feel if you didn’t have any expectations whatsoever on him?
Client: I guess I would feel relieved and at peace and happy.
Me: Ah… and what impact might that have on your marriage?
She smiled and it became clear that she was starting to get it.
This isn’t about what roles and responsibilities everyone should have in the home. (As it turns out, the guy was fulfilling his most important roles, according to their shared belief system).
This is about what I described in last week’s Conscious Marriage Workshop as the ‘Ultimate Nafs Trap’. In this context, it manifests as the illusion that you’ll ‘feel better’ when your partner meets your expectations and does what you want, and that you’ll feel upset and frustrated if they don’t.
Don’t get me wrong – you have every right to feel upset and frustrated at your partner… But how’s that working out for you?
If you’re ready to let go of some pre-conceived ideas about how life and marriage is ‘supposed’ to work… and wake up to the reality of what does actually work, then you might just be ready for…
The Conscious Marriage Coaching Session
It’s an opportunity to get my personal perspective on what’s happening in your marriage right now… and how to fix it if need be.
Specifically, you’ll discover:
- Create a crystal clear vision of what your ideal marriage and family life will look like
- Uncover hidden challenges that may have been sabotaging your relationship for years… and discover how to blast through them once and for all
- How to ‘Switch On’ the love and joy in your marriage and the potential impact of leaving it to chance
- The 5-Phase Happy Marriage Action Plan that you can start implement immediately afterwards
- Leave the session renewed, re-energised and totally inspired to make the most of your marriage & turn your home into the most loving place on Earth!
These 1-to-1 coaching sessions take up a lot of my time and energy and are (quite rightly) available on my website for £313 each.
However, this week only, I’m making a handful of spots in July available for free, to successful applicants.
Apply here:
