Sarah was on her way to one of my live events, mentally rehearsing how she’d tell her husband she wanted a divorce.
Years of resentment had piled up. Every argument left her feeling more defeated. Even small conflicts spiralled into days of tension and silence.
She’d tried everything – therapy, advice from family elders, and even seeking help from an imam. But nothing brought her peace.
As she drove, she thought, “This is my last shot. If this doesn’t work, I’m done.”
But during the event, something pretty cool happened. Sarah heard something unexpected:
“Your feelings don’t come from your spouse. They come from your own thinking in the moment.”
At first, it sounded strange – even impossible. But as we went deeper into it, something really clicked for her.
She had a profound insight…
Sarah had been living in what I call “The Psychological Illusion” – the belief that something other than thought (in this case, her husband) caused her unhappiness. This illusion kept her trapped in a cycle of blame, hurt, and disconnection.
But once she realized that her feelings were created by her own thinking – not by her husband, not by the past, and not by the latest argument – everything started to change.
She didn’t just understand this insight intellectually; she felt it. And in that moment, years of resentment began to melt away.
Sarah could now see her husband through fresh eyes. Instead of a source of frustration, he became someone she could reconnect with. For the first time in literally years, she didn’t feel like a victim of her circumstances.
As she described it:
“I can’t believe I was going to throw it all away… just because I didn’t know this.”
When she left the event, she didn’t have a list of new techniques to “fix” her husband or their marriage. She had something much more powerful:
- A Quiet Mind
She stopped overthinking every argument, every word, and every gesture. The Psychological Switch helped her drop unnecessary thinking and reconnect with the present moment – which, as she soon discovered, is the psychological state of zikr (bringing Allah to mind). - Presence in Conflict
When conflicts arose, she didn’t spiral into blame or defensiveness. Instead, she stayed calm, knowing her feelings weren’t determined by her husband’s behavior but by her own thoughts in the moment. She could simply observe those thoughts and feelings and let them go so she could stay present with him. This lead to… - Deeper Listening
Sarah stopped listening to argue and started listening to understand. Her husband began to feel truly seen and heard, which softened his heart and changed the dynamic of their conversations. - Rekindled Love
Without the weight of all that resentment, Sarah’s natural feelings of love and affection for her husband resurfaced. They began to laugh together again, share moments of joy, talk about the good times and rebuild their bond. And probably the greatest thing she gained is… - Deeper Connection with Allah
The moment she woke up to the true source of her feelings, like all of us, Sarah suddenly felt deeply spiritually connected with Allah. After all, Allah is the true source of all of our experience, not the fleeting, trifling concerns of this worldly life, like marriage conflicts and family distractions.
By discarding anything other than the God-given gift of thought as the ultimate source of feeling, we instantly reconnect with Him. This is a deeper way of understanding that there is nothing worthy of worship, only Allah.
Where They Are Now?
The reason I’m sharing Sarah’s story is that the live event was years ago, long before COVID… and Sarah and her husband, many years later, are still happily married today. Their relationship isn’t perfect – no marriage is. But they have something most couples only dream of:
- The ability to bounce back quickly after disagreements.
- A home filled with peace, understanding, and love.
- Kids who have role models of what a great marriage looks like in real-life.
- A deeper connection not only with each other, but also with Allah.
Sarah’s story isn’t unique. It’s one of dozens, maybe even hundreds, of transformations of couples that I’ve witnessed. And it starts with the same simple, powerful insight:
Your feelings come from your own thinking, in the moment.
This truth can dissolve resentment, deepen connection, and create lasting change – without you having to wait around for your partner to change first.
If Sarah’s story resonates with you, I invite you to consider how this same insight might transform your marriage, too.
My brand new “Marriage Made Easy” program is designed to make 2025 the year that turns your marriage around and sets you up for love that literally lasts forever.
Check it out here: www.mamoonyusaf.com/MME
It’s available now for email subscribers only at a 50% discount with a suite of bonus gifts – if you haven’t already, go here to join my list and get all the good stuff:
Peace, Love & Blessings.
Mamoon
| P.S. Her name’s not really Sarah – I’ve changed the details to protect her privacy. But her story is 100% real. And it’s just one of many. You can read more on this page. P.P.S. One of the best things about having the Marriage Made Easy skills, techniques and mindsets, is that it takes all the drama out of your relationship, so you can actually live peacefully and happily together. But, that’s not for everyone. So if you want to know how to increase the DRAMA in your marriage and turn it into a real nightmarish soap-opera… tune in to the next episode (tomorrow). |
