When it comes to the world of halal dating, there seem to be a lot of mixed messages out there.
And one of the most confusing ones, is who should make the first move.
And traditionally, the answer has always been ‘the man’.
In fact, if a woman wants to make the first move it can be seen as desperate or needy. And so, what can often happen is that a woman can be interested in someone, but is left feeling unsure as to whether or not it’s even acceptable to make the first move and approach him.
And whilst it’s slowly becoming more acceptable for women to make the first move, and then leave the ball in the man’s court to reciprocate…there are still far too many women out there who are not making any moves at all, and just patiently waiting for the man they’re interested in to read their minds and make the first move instead.
But you might be waiting a while…
So, whilst you’re waiting I think this is the perfect opportunity to remind ourselves of the ultimate Islamic love story..
There once was a lady who was twice married, and then widowed, and older than the man she was interested in marrying.
But none of these circumstances were barriers in her quest for real love.
She saw a man who had an attitude and behaviour like no other man. So she made a move…she asked her friend to approach him and ask whether he would be interested in marriage. The young man was certainly interested, and her circumstances were not an issue for him either. This woman had beauty, lineage, nobility and wealth. In fact, he saw himself as not even able to contemplate such a union, because of his own status in comparison.
The beautiful lady then made a second move, and invited the man to her home and made him a proposal of marriage, which he accepted. They then spoke to their relatives in order to finalise the arrangements – but no obstacle, including their statuses, was able to prevent their marriage.
I think you all know who I’m talking about here – our beloved Prophet, peace & blessings upon him and Khadijah bint Khuwaylid, may Allah be pleased with her.
Khadijah was not scared to make the first, or the second move, despite her circumstances which in this day and age, would prove to be barriers for so many.
And the fact that the Prophet, peace & blessings upon him, would not have even contemplated the union himself because of his own status; meant that had Khadijah not made the first move…..we could have ended up with a very different story to tell.
So, the moral of the story is, don’t listen to those who tell you that a woman can’t make the first move.
Because we have the best of examples to follow that says it’s perfectly acceptable to do this. And in fact if you don’t, you could be missing out on meeting and marrying the most wonderful man in the world.
If you want to have the same, unshakeable, natural confidence as our Mother Khadijah, then you’ll want to be at my upcoming ‘Meet & Marry The One’ event. You’ll not only discover how to effortlessly embody this quality, but your whole perspective on life will shift in a way that has the power to completely eliminate all feelings of nervousness and ‘re-sets’ you to your natural state of confidence.
Be like our blessed Mother of the believers, the first Muslimah, Khadijah… and make the first move by going here, and I’ll see you at the event insha’Allah:
Meet & Marry The One: How To Find, Attract & Marry The Love Of Your Life
