A while back, I told one of my best friends that someone bought a copy of my book, “Inside the Soul of Islam”, read it, and then converted to Islam.
His response:
“Masha’Allah. Just make sure he never meets you in person”.
Touche old friend. You got me there.
And that ability to use dry Northern humour to rip me while making me laugh is exactly why I keep him around.
Over the years, I’ve discovered that there are 2 kinds of ‘personal development’ coaches and teachers:
- Those who believe in only having friends who are ‘positive’ and ‘uplifting’, and only watching movies, TV shows and music that make you feel good.
- Those who couldn’t care less about what you watch, listen to & spend time with.
Me: I’m with Group 2.
What?! How?! Why?! But what about ‘positive psychology’?! Explain!
It’s true: I’ll take a horror movie with friends who’ll take the mickey out of me for jumping at the scary parts, over watching a Rom-Com with some Positive Thinking Zombies, any day of the week and twice on a Friday 13th.
To me, scary movies are just way more fun.
You want to know why being around all this ‘negativity’ never gets me down and never, ever, causes me or anyone around me any kinds of issues…?
It’s because I very clearly and very firmly understand one thing:
It’s all make-believe.
It’s fantasy. It’s the stuff dreams are made of. It’s as real as an imaginary flying monkey.
Just like all the negative thoughts we make up.
When you realise they’re just fantasy, and have no power in and of themselves, you’re free. You’re free to enjoy them, or ignore them, as you wish.
But, if you take all this stuff (negative thoughts, movies, people’s jokes, etc) seriously, then you’re pretending they have power. As a result, you limit yourself to be at the mercy of the ‘positivity’ of your environment and your thinking. So, you have to try and control the entire world around you, and inside of you, and try to only let ‘positive’ things in.
This is a fool’s errand.
Firstly, it’s way too much hard work. Secondly, you’re bound to fail and then beat yourself up (or blame the world around you) when you do.
And perhaps most insidiously (Side-Note: Insidious -> Fantastic horror movie!), if you go down that road, you might even start second-guessing how ‘spiritual’ and ‘evolved’ your friends are when they take the mickey out of you every now & then.
And finally, when you’re alone, you’re left trying to monitor all your negative thoughts and replace them with positive ones.
Good luck with that, mate.
I take a very different approach. Instead of all this ‘positivity policing’, just come to my event and nail this one psychological understanding, and you’ll literally never have to worry about a ‘negative’ environment ever again:
The Paradigm Shift
Peace, Love & Blessings.
Mamoon
P.S. If you do happen to be a positive person, and you only want Rom-Coms with happy endings, friends who tell how awesome you are, and spiritual environments that uplift you… well, truth is, you’ll get a whole lot of that at The Paradigm Shift event too.
The only difference is, by the time I’m done with you, your wellbeing will never have to depend on that stuff. It’s just icing on the cake.
