“Always be skeptical of anyone who claims to be an ‘expert’ on relationships. Chances are, someone in their family strongly disagrees.”
– Anon
Even the best advice from the best so-called ‘experts’ on relationships will likely backfire when you try and apply it. Sure, once in a while you might get lucky and it works out, but more often than not, other people’s generic cookie-cutter advice is just going to rub salt on the wound.
If I was to give you all the best practices and systems you could ‘implement’ in your marriage, it would probably involve doing lots of loving things for your partner, spending quality time together and communicating more.
They all sound like good ideas, right?
Except that “Spending Time Together” will totally backfire because…
Spending lots of time together and talking more means all the issues and challenges between you will surface. And 9 times out of 10 that will lead to more arguments and conflicts. Unless…
You have a communication system of exactly how to deal with marriage issues and challenges when they come up.
Except that the “Communication System” will totally backfire on you because…
When you communicate, if you’re full of upset, anger and frustration, the more you communicate, the worse your relationship is going to become! Communication is like a pipeline between two houses. If it’s filled with pure, clean drinking water, it’s wonderful. But if you fill that pipeline with sewage and effectively, clearly and concisely send it to your partner… it’s like filling your marriage with more verbal crap. Yuck!
Unless of course…
You have a way of dealing with all your negative emotions when they occur and letting them go.
Except that “Letting Go” of your negative emotions will totally backfire on you because…
If you try ‘letting go’ of negative feelings, under the illusion that the other person is the one who’s causing those negative emotions, you’ll run into trouble because A) it may feel like you’re doing all the ‘hard work’ in the relationship and B) every time your partner does the behaviour you don’t like you’ll think you’re being ‘triggered’ and land back in square one, feeling upset and frustrated and thinking it’s all their fault.
Unless…
You have a crystal clear way of knowing what’s your ‘stuff’ and what’s their ‘stuff’.
The best way to get crystal clarity on this that works 100% of the time, is The Psychological Switch. It’s based on dropping the illusion that any past event, person or situation has the power to cause your feelings. It’s a total game-changer.
Except that “The Psychological Switch” won’t make any sense to you because…
If things are rough, you might get too ‘in your head’ about all your relationship problems to be able to settle down, quiet your mind and be present… because what you’re really looking for is an insight. The Psychological Switch is an insight that leads you to see your whole life and relationship from a more enlightened “switched on” perspective.
But the chances of you having that insight are slim-to-none unless you have a great trainer and you open your mind to new insightful perspectives, by quieting your mind and becoming fully present.
As the Buddha is reported to have said, “We sail the sea of mindfulness in the hope of finding the shores of wisdom”. And you won’t even be able to set sail, unless you learn to get yourself into a state of meditation and full presence.
Except that the state of Presence will totally backfire on you because…
Most people enter that state and it only lasts a few seconds, barely long enough to catch (and notice!) your breath, let alone settle down into it and start having a series of life-changing, marriage saving insights.
Unless…
You’re wise enough to come to my next event where we’ll reverse engineer this whole thing, so that you discover:
- Prophetic Presence – how to instantly get into a state of presence and enjoy it for several hours, so that your mind is fertile for insights like…
- The Psychological Switch – the game-changing, marriage-saving insight that gives you total clarity on how your mind (and your partner’s mind) works, so you get out of the hurt-blame-trigger-blame-hurt game. After really ‘getting’ this, you may not even need…
- The Inner Salam Method – my favourite way of directly letting go of negative feelings when they occur, using intense presence and a clear mind. When we know we can rely on ourselves to let go of temporary feelings and get back to ‘salam’ or inner-peace, we’re in a much better position to use…
- Effective Communication Systems – the most powerful ways to get you both on the same page before, during and after a conflict, so you actually feel closer together than you did before the conflict occurred. And of course, when all this is in place, you can actually implement…
- Successful Marriage Systems – a few common-sense ways of improving your marriage by spending more quality time together and doing very loving things for each other.
Here’s some marriage advice that is guaranteed to never backfire.
Join my upcoming event and develop the skills and insights that lead you to become the ‘best’ to your spouse and family:
