In the personal development world, a lot of people talk about the ‘Law of Attraction’, which is less of a ‘law’ and more of a nice idea. And, for the last few months I’ve been experimenting with a better idea:
The Law of Repulsion.
Instead of trying to ‘attract’ the things you want into your life, create crystal clear ‘rules of conduct’ of what you absolutely won’t accept.
When Rachida and I started talking a few years ago we had what we called a “Deal Breakers” list. Basically things that were absolute red lines for us, that if the other person even got close to, all bets (and marriage prospects) were off. We still stick by our Deal Breakers list, and never need to even look at it or address it, because it was clear from the start and neither of us are the type that would go there.
Rather than the ‘Law of Attraction’, we were actually using the ‘Law of Repulsion’: If you go anywhere near this kind of behaviour, you’ll be behaving that way with someone else, not me.
This doesn’t just apply to marriage. It’s a great idea for business growth too. For example, The Ocean doesn’t allow for refunds. That’s because I no longer want to waste time with clients who want all the details on our refund policy: they’re making it crystal clear what they intend to do. That would be kind of like wasting time with a potential spouse who asks about how open you are to them cheating on you.
By being very clear on the kind of behaviour that works for me and that doesn’t work for me, I can save a ton of energy and effort and I magically ‘attract’ ideal clients and relationships with almost no effort, and avoid a lot of drama along the way.
