I have a confession to make:
I always used to be pretty terrible at reaching goals.
Yikes! Sounds like I might be in the wrong profession as a life-coach, right?
Or maybe that’s exactly the reason I’m good at my job. I’ve had to learn to deal with my own under-achieving tendencies and failures and get over it in order to get anywhere in life.
The reason I always used to fail at achieving the goals I set is simple:
Temptation.
I always used to fall for the temptation to take on too much, too quickly.
I’d have a big inspiring goal, get really excited about it, decide to change my life forever by doing the goal… and then fall flat about 3 weeks into it.
And to avoid the feelings of failure, I’d simply fall into denial about that goal… and make up for it by creating a new inspiring goal and getting really excited about that one.
Well… needless to say, this approach is pretty rubbish and doesn’t get you very far.
The solution is as easy to say, as it is difficult to follow:
Do Less.
Start Slowly.
In fact, the real secret is to start much, much more slowly than you think you’re capable of.
I’m not the first one to suggest this nugget of practical wisdom. And neither is James Clear of Atomic Habits or Leo Babauta of Zen Habits – although they’re both spot-on that this is definitely the best method for gradual, but radical, behavioural change.
As the Prophet Muhammad, peace & blessings upon him, famously said:
“Take up good actions only as much as you are able, for the best actions are those done regularly even if they are few.”
[Collection: Ahmed]
So, how might this look in practice? How can even a serial under-achiever like me apply this method to make radical changes?
There are a lot of ways to start super-small with a goal and build up gradually over time – but I’ve found the hardest part is to realise that in reality, it’s actually harder to do the ‘smaller’ version than to go for the big goal.
Why?
Because the ego tries convincing you that you’re bigger and better than that tiny little goal and you can (and therefore should) be doing more. Plus, obviously if you do more, you’ll achieve the goal and the happiness that’s sure to come with it even more quickly… right?
Wrong.
Totally wrong.
I say: smash your ego. It’s your worst enemy. And it’s trying to sabotage you.
Follow the Prophet’s advice instead.
Here are some practical ways that might look:
- When the ego says, “memorize a page of the Quran a day”, or “at least learn a proper surah/ chapter made of several pages” – see what happens if you commit to memorizing just one line a day instead. Or better still, create a small daily Quran habit and use it to achieve all of your Quran goals in a logical order over time (more on this later…)
- When the ego says, “start running for an hour a day!” – maybe try the method that worked for me when I was training for the London marathon: just get dressed and get outside for 5 minutes doing a light jog, no matter what the weather is.
- When the ego says, “You should write a book!” – instead of staring at a blank screen, daunted by the thought of a whole 60,000 word book, maybe commit to writing non-stop… for just 11 minutes a day.
- When the ego says, “You should learn a whole new language, it’s time to book a part-time course and finally do it” – perhaps immerse yourself in Duo Lingo for 7 minutes a day first and see what happens
- When the ego says, “You should get married!” – see what happens if you commit to spending 6 minutes a day on MuzzMatch… or going to just one social event each week
- Instead of doing a full daily 1 hour “Insanity” fitness workout, that burns you out and makes all your muscles sore and then pausing for 3 days to recover – see what happens when you commit to doing a small 5 minute fitness workout that gradually builds up over time
In other words, select a goal that’s so easy your ego cringes at it… but that you can realistically see yourself sticking with for the rest of your life.
Do you see how easy that small version of the daily habit is… and how incredibly difficult it is for our big, fat egos to swallow the fact that we’re not as amazing as it tries to make us think we are – and we’ll actually end up doing better with the smallest version of the habit?
The truth is it takes WAY more patience and discipline to do the small version.
But it’s worth it because over time, it inevitably builds up. Momentum builds. A few years from now, when you look back and still have the mature version of that ‘small’ habit you locked in place, you might turn into someone who ‘used to be’ terrible at achieving goals. But now they all happen on auto-pilot because you took the easy, prophetically inspired path to success.
Do a version of your new year’s resolution, goal or daily habit that’s so small and easy that you almost can’t fail at it… and see what happens as the momentum builds slowly over time.
If you want one small action that could lead to a dramatic change over the next few weeks, months and years of your life… try this for size:
Go to the url www.mamoonyusaf.com/free and check out the “Quran For Busy People” free training that shows you how to completely transform your connection with the Quran in just 11 minutes a day.
