There’s a major downside to all the spiritual insights & relationship strategies I teach: they KILL drama. And let’s face it: sometimes people get a real kick out of drama. The highs when you win a point and the lows when you’re mad or upset – it can all get kind of… addictive.
Sometimes the whole marriage feels like it started as a Rom-Com but they changed screenwriters half way through and it ended up as a soap opera that just… Never. Stops.
Here’s a quick checklist of exactly what to do if you looooovve all that drama and you want to keep the soap opera going forever…
Step 1: Assume You Know Exactly What Your Spouse Is Thinking
Ahh, the sweet drama of mind-reading. Who needs communication skills when you can just assume your spouse meant to forget your anniversary or intentionally left the cap off the toothpaste?
Okay, Professor X, keep playing the “they should just know” game and let me know how that works out for you. Oh and whatever you do, never directly ask your partner what they mean. That might lead to all kinds of clarity and connection… and we all know how boring that is.
Step 2: Keep a Detailed Record of Every Offense
This one’s easy: Just keep score! Start a mental diary or a Bullet Journal entry titled “Things My Spouse Did Wrong Since 2010.” Then whip it out during every argument for maximum dramatic effect.
Step 3: Use Sarcasm as Your Love Language
If your spouse says something annoying, respond with biting sarcasm. Bonus points if it’s in front of other people! “Oh, sure, honey, because you’re soooo perfect, right?”
Step 4: Argue to Win. Everyone will be Impressed.
When a conflict comes up, make sure your primary goal is to prove your point. Winning at all costs is the name of the game. And if you do it right, you’ll get so much respect. Your partner will swoon at the thought of how smart you are with all that sarcasm. (Believe me, at this point I’m a professional).
Step 5: Compare Your Spouse to Someone Else
“Oh, look at Ahmed! He always buys flowers for his wife.” Or, “Fatima never nags her husband like this. And she goes to the gym.” Want to make sure resentment keeps brewing? Start making comparisons.
Step 6: Never, Ever Say Sorry
And if you do accidentally say sorry, be sure to immediately follow up with, ‘…you feel that way’, or ‘… you misunderstood me’ or my favourite… “sorry, but here’s why I was completely right about the thing I’m apologising for…”
All these options work equally well… if you’re too much of a wuss to just never say sorry in the first place.
Step 7: Drag In the In-Laws
Need to spice up a mundane argument? Bring up your spouse’s family! “You’re acting just like your mother.” (Or whoever their most complicated relationship is with). Instant fireworks guaranteed.
If any of these steps sound a little bit too familiar, don’t worry about it – you’re not alone. I’ve done them all myself at some point to a greater or lesser extent (just ask my wife!). And I’ve certainly been on the receiving end and seen them all in action.
Here’s a serious warning though:
Prophetic Presence, the Inner Salam Method and the Psychological Switch along with everything else I teach in the Marriage Made Easy program are all certified Drama-Killers. So if you want your marriage to be a dramatic soap opera that has highs and lows that never end, then…
…There’s only one final step that will keep you stuck in the cycle of pointless, repetitive argumentative drama in your marriage and keep it going on forever.
Simply ignore all the teaching on this page:
And if you’re not already a subscriber, be sure to get the best deals on all my coaching programs by first joining my email list and checking out the free Conscious Marriage Workshop, available here:
Peace, Love & Blessings.
Mamoon
P.S. Speaking of biting sarcasm, arrogance and ego – here’s a weird fact about me. When I lived in Egypt for a year studying Arabic, I watched the movie “Iron Man” FIVE times in the cinema. And because my brain works in strange ways, a couple of decades later, I’ve come up with 3 pretty powerful Marriage-Saving Secrets from the movie Iron Man. Tune into the next episode…
