âAlways be skeptical of anyone who claims to be an âexpertâ on relationships. Chances are, someone in their family strongly disagrees.â
â Anon
Even the best advice from the best so-called âexpertsâ on relationships will likely backfire when you try and apply it. Sure, once in a while you might get lucky and it works out, but more often than not, other peopleâs generic cookie-cutter advice is just going to rub salt on the wound.
If I was to give you all the best practices and systems you could âimplementâ in your marriage, it would probably involve doing lots of loving things for your partner, spending quality time together and communicating more.
They all sound like good ideas, right?
Except that âSpending Time Togetherâ will totally backfire becauseâŚ
Spending lots of time together and talking more means all the issues and challenges between you will surface. And 9 times out of 10 that will lead to more arguments and conflicts. UnlessâŚ
You have a communication system of exactly how to deal with marriage issues and challenges when they come up.
Except that the âCommunication Systemâ will totally backfire on you becauseâŚ
When you communicate, if youâre full of upset, anger and frustration, the more you communicate, the worse your relationship is going to become! Communication is like a pipeline between two houses. If itâs filled with pure, clean drinking water, itâs wonderful. But if you fill that pipeline with sewage and effectively, clearly and concisely send it to your partner⌠itâs like filling your marriage with more verbal crap. Yuck!
Unless of courseâŚ
You have a way of dealing with all your negative emotions when they occur and letting them go.
Except that âLetting Goâ of your negative emotions will totally backfire on you becauseâŚ
If you try âletting goâ of negative feelings, under the illusion that the other person is the one whoâs causing those negative emotions, youâll run into trouble because A) it may feel like youâre doing all the âhard workâ in the relationship and B) every time your partner does the behaviour you donât like youâll think youâre being âtriggeredâ and land back in square one, feeling upset and frustrated and thinking itâs all their fault.
UnlessâŚ
You have a crystal clear way of knowing whatâs your âstuffâ and whatâs their âstuffâ.
The best way to get crystal clarity on this that works 100% of the time, is The Psychological Switch. Itâs based on dropping the illusion that any past event, person or situation has the power to cause your feelings. Itâs a total game-changer.
Except that âThe Psychological Switchâ wonât make any sense to you becauseâŚ
If things are rough, you might get too âin your headâ about all your relationship problems to be able to settle down, quiet your mind and be present⌠because what youâre really looking for is an insight. The Psychological Switch is an insight that leads you to see your whole life and relationship from a more enlightened âswitched onâ perspective.
But the chances of you having that insight are slim-to-none unless you have a great trainer and you open your mind to new insightful perspectives, by quieting your mind and becoming fully present.
As the Buddha is reported to have said, âWe sail the sea of mindfulness in the hope of finding the shores of wisdomâ. And you wonât even be able to set sail, unless you learn to get yourself into a state of meditation and full presence.
Except that the state of Presence will totally backfire on you becauseâŚ
Most people enter that state and it only lasts a few seconds, barely long enough to catch (and notice!) your breath, let alone settle down into it and start having a series of life-changing, marriage saving insights.
UnlessâŚ
Youâre wise enough to come to my next event where weâll reverse engineer this whole thing, so that you discover:
- Prophetic Presence – how to instantly get into a state of presence and enjoy it for several hours, so that your mind is fertile for insights likeâŚ
- The Psychological Switch – the game-changing, marriage-saving insight that gives you total clarity on how your mind (and your partnerâs mind) works, so you get out of the hurt-blame-trigger-blame-hurt game. After really âgettingâ this, you may not even needâŚ
- The Inner Salam Method – my favourite way of directly letting go of negative feelings when they occur, using intense presence and a clear mind. When we know we can rely on ourselves to let go of temporary feelings and get back to âsalamâ or inner-peace, weâre in a much better position to useâŚ
- Effective Communication Systems – the most powerful ways to get you both on the same page before, during and after a conflict, so you actually feel closer together than you did before the conflict occurred. And of course, when all this is in place, you can actually implementâŚ
- Successful Marriage Systems –Â a few common-sense ways of improving your marriage by spending more quality time together and doing very loving things for each other.
Hereâs some marriage advice that is guaranteed to never backfire.
Join my upcoming event and develop the skills and insights that lead you to become the âbestâ to your spouse and family:
