| I’ve long held a belief, inspired by the Quran, that has served me well over the years. It’s kept me out of a lot of trouble and I’ve managed to avoid a whole lot of would-be drama by sticking to it. It’s a belief that underpins a lot of the coaching work I do, but it serves me even better in my personal life. Every time I go against this personal principle, it almost always backfires. Every time I stick with it, I’m always glad that I did. It’s not an easy principle to stick to. It takes quite a lot of discipline at times, but in the long run, I’ve come to believe that the payoff is worth it. The Quran verses that inspired it, are ones you might be familiar with: “There’s no compulsion in (this) way of life.” [Quran 2:256]And “To you, your way of life; to me, mine” [Quran 109:6]My personal take on this is that it’s totally okay for you to do whatever you want. I don’t need to comment on it. I don’t need to agree with it. I don’t need to stop you or encourage you. It’s your life, not mine. If you want to run full-pelt into a brick wall, that’s totally your choice. Good luck and God bless. The only time I’ll ever advise you is if you come to me, wholeheartedly seeking my perspective and opinion. I don’t assume that just because you’re talking to me or telling me your problems that you want my perspective or opinion – maybe you just want to vent. If you want me to put both my brain cells together and help you figure out how to solve the sticky situation you’ve gotten yourself into, you’ll have to pipe up and ask directly, with some amount of sincerity. You’ll notice this runs totally contrary to the ‘dawah bros’ with stalls in front of the Students’ Union who hand out leaflets hoping to change people’s minds about the biggest questions of life. Back in the day, when I was at uni, I got the distinct sense that some of those “dawah bros” used to look down on me, with my gelled hair, carefully designed pencil thin goatee, hoodie and jeans. It’s not that I don’t admire their passion and enthusiasm. It’s that I don’t believe in their strategy. The way I see it is this:Everybody loves chocolate. But no-one likes having it stuffed down their throat. If I’ve got something valuable to share, I’ll share it freely – but only to those who genuinely ask for it. Ironically many years (decades?) later, I shared some of my knowledge and understanding of religion in a little book called, “Inside the Soul of Islam” and by the grace of God, many people read that book and became Muslim and many more read it and reaffirmed their faith. No preaching required. I think my no-preaching philosophy is a big part of the reason that book is successful. I literally didn’t write the book with the intention or hope that people would change religion. I wrote it so that those who are interested or curious would have a clearer idea about how I see mine. If you ever feel like you’ve been wasting your time, energy and breath on family members or friends who come to you with their problems, but then never listen to your advice (or to reason), then you might want to try on this philosophy for yourself and see what happens. And if you want to ‘solicit’ some of my advice – particularly when it comes to connecting more deeply with Allah, mastering your lower self and improving your relationships and family dynamics – then you might enjoy this program: www.mamoonyusaf.com/nafs-mastery/ Peace, Love & Blessings. Mamoon P.S. Before some smarty-pants tries replying saying that this email was unsolicited… it was literally ‘solicited’ the moment you opted in to receive my newsletter. If you don’t want to receive it any more, hit the unsubscribe link below. I only want my messages to go to people who genuinely enjoy receiving them. P.P.S. If you join the Nafs Mastery Program by midnight on Monday 17th August, then you’ll get to enjoy a special training on “Enlightened Relationships” where we’ll go more deeply into this approach, and you’ll discover… The biggest mistake spiritual, religious and personal growth people make when it comes to their love lives and marriages (and what to do instead) How to improve your marriage dramatically, WITHOUT trying to change your partner The genius advice a great Sheikh gave me after finding out that I was divorced and wanted to re-marry… that leads to a deeply loving marriage and virtually guarantees your relationship will get better and better over time (NOTE: this practical ‘marriage-hack’ becomes even more powerful if you’re doing your best to discard nafs-based negativity along the way) How to tell the difference between your ‘stuff’ and your partner’s ‘stuff’ to create instant clarity and remove misunderstanding in your marriage and other high-stakes relationships How to communicate with your partner in a way where they actually feel heard and deeply loved, without ‘giving in’ or sacrificing your rights (Note: the only thing that blocks this is… you guessed it… your nafs!) The true meaning of forgiveness – how to let go of all grudges and negative thinking or feeling towards people who wronged you so you can finally move on for good How to become ‘un-manipulatable’ when dealing with difficult people so that you’re immune to even narcissistic behaviour How to know when to let go of relationships and how to do it with elegance, ease & grace Why it’s a completely disastrous MYTH that you should try to eliminate all the low vibe, or ‘bad’ people from your life and how to deal with them in a dignified, respectful manner, without letting them affect your state of mind How to gently cut people out when it’s unavoidable – and do it in such an elegant way, that they hardly even notice… but don’t bother you, drain you, or waste your time any more How to become detached & outcome independent when you’re looking for love (so that neediness and self-doubt don’t creep in and sabotage your chances) The 7 most destructive sneaky ego tricks that gradually damage your relationships, without you even noticing and how to become so acutely aware of them that you instantly and completely let them go (Note: countless marriages have been saved from this one teaching alone). Enlightened Relationships – how overcoming your lower, emotionally-reactive self has an immediate, direct impact on your family and marriage, and has resulted in many of my coaching clients saying that this approach completely saved their marriage and their children’s lives Join here now to get all the above and more included in your Nafs Mastery membership: www.mamoonyusaf.com/nafs-mastery/ |
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