Nov
02

You’re Perfect (Just The Way You Are)

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It’s true.

I know it may not seem true to you, but trust me, this statement is absolutely, 100% true: “You are perfect, just the way you are, right now in this moment.”

You don’t need to change anything. You don’t need to try forcing positive thoughts through your mind. You don’t need an NLP-Jedi mind trick. You are exactly the way the Most Loving, the Infinitely Wise, wants you to be in this moment.

How do I know this is true?

Because if the Most Powerful wanted you to be any other way right now, that’s the way you would be. But you’re not. You’re the way you are. You can’t be, in this moment, any other way than the way you are. And thank God for that, because the way you are right now is just perfect.

When I first came across this understanding, I thought:

“No, no, no… that CAN’T be true. That may be true of other people, but you have NO IDEA how much I sin and screw up! I do it all the time. Like, every day, I do one sin or another. To be honest, I don’t even make all the 5 daily prayers, the other day I lied to my dad (my own dad!) and today I [insert long list of random sins that come from normal human imperfection, but seemed like a big deal to me at the time]…”

I’m not saying you don’t make mistakes and ‘sin’. In my belief system, if humanity didn’t sin, the Most Forgiving would eliminate us and replace us with people that do sin, so they could turn back, asking for forgiveness.

Sinning (engaging in actions, words or thoughts that harm yourself or others) is something we all do, every day. The perfect version of “you” is not someone who never sins, but one who sins, and then takes the Path of Forgiveness.

Another MAJOR objection I had to the idea that I’m already ‘perfect’, with all my sin, and all my in-built imperfection, was my misguided idea of “self-improvement”. In my mind, I always had this idea of ‘a more perfect version of me’. This version of me is really awesome. You would love him. (I know I did!). Check out what his life looks like:

  •  wakes up at dawn every day
  •  prays all 5 prayers on time, every time
  •  works out everyday (and obviously has a rippling six-pack)
  •  black belt in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (and maybe Thai Boxing too, depending on what movies I’ve been watching recently)
  • memorised the entire Quran and knows it like the back of his hand, and can interpret it in a way that makes perfect sense for him (and all of humanity)
  • knows ancient Arabic better than J.K. Rowling knows English
  • millionaire philanthropist
  • travelled the world
  • has a smoking hot, yet deeply spiritual wife, who is his perfect companion in life
  • speaks perfect Spanish, French, Italian, and (reluctantly) Catalan 😉

Now, some of these things are actually true for me right now, some of them have been in the past, and some of them may be in the future. And, of course, some of them are not, have not and will not ever be true for me.

The problem is that I had this ‘misguided idea of self-improvement’, where I used to think that my purpose in life was to move from the current (imperfect) version of me to the future, imagined ‘more perfect’ version of me.

So, here are 2 important questions for you:

1. In the back of your mind do you have an image of “the perfect you” that you’re always unconsciously trying to live up to?

If so, here’s an even more important question…

2. Where does that image of the ‘more perfect version of me’ come from?

If you’re always trying to live up to ‘the perfect you’, my guess is that (if you’re anything like me), you may also have experienced some of these:

  • An internal voice constantly telling you that you are not good enough, in a brilliant variety of disempowering ways
  • If you do something you consider ‘good’ you quickly dismiss it as irrelevant because you do so much ‘bad’ that this could barely make up for it,
  • If you do something you consider ‘good’ you quickly dismiss it as irrelevant because you’re meant to do good anyway, so it’s no big deal!
  • When you do something you consider ‘bad’, or when you do a ‘sin’ (something that harms yourself or others), you punish yourself by re-living it many, many times over in your mind.
  • No matter how hard you try, you never do ‘enough’ to fit your image of the perfect you… You don’t pray enough, meditate enough, fast enough, work out enough, work hard enough, serve others enough. Compared with your perfect self, whichever way you look at it, you’re a failure.
  • Because of this, you are ‘busy’ in a way that you can never really free yourself from. There’s always more to do, and you’ve never done enough.

If you experience some or all of this, then you really need to ‘get’ where the image of ‘the perfect you’ comes from – because all of the patterns above come from the same place.

It comes from a little part of yourself that has different names in different cultures, but everyone universally seems to have an idea of what it is. From Western psychologists, to Eastern spiritual masters, this part of yourself has been the subject of study for millennia. It’s a part of you that you may have heard about, or read about, and been naturally curious about.

It’s the part of you that is standing in the way of your spiritual growth, that blocks you from being clear-headed & productive, and blinds you from realizing that you already are the most perfect version of you.

Most importantly, the part of you that causes all of the negative, disempowering patterns above can be instantly eliminated. If you’d like to achieve this kind of Effortless Transformation, watch this free online training.

 

Comments

comments

Categories : The Book Of Wisdom

19 Comments

1

asalamualayk wa rahmatollah,

As with everything, moderation is key. Everyone has their “ideal self” and “actual self,” and the more distance between the two, the more unhappy the individual will be. That doesn’t mean you throw away your “ideal self” and embrace your “real self.” You take a middle path. You work towards the ideal self (assuming it is one that is pleasing to Allah – how to know? Check the Qur’an for the descriptions of the people that Allah swt loves and is pleased with) and you don’t become discouraged by failures along the way, because He swt is Al Ghafoor Ar-Raheem.

I’m a bit afraid that the article can be misunderstood to think that there is no need for a mentality of self-improvement, which I think we can agree is not an Islamic mindset (to think there is no need for self-improvement). This world is a test, there’s nothing but room for self-improvement. 🙂

WaAllahu Alam
May Allah swt reward you akhee

wasalamualayk

2

Salaamun ‘Alaikum

What a beautiful article to read on a friday morning!
Look forward to the second part in shaAllah.

Jazaka-Allahu Khaire.

3

Assalamo Alaikum brother

JazakAllah for your continuing work and articles in improving spiritual conditions.

Brother, although I admire your apparent honesty and desire to tread the right path, we must be very careful when we advise others because if someone treads wrongly because of what we tell them, we ‘share in it’s burden’.

There are many points that come out of your article but my biggest concern is the level of conjecture without explicitly identifying it as such. Without going into any details, some of the conclusions drawn from this contradict the teachings of prominent scholars of days gone by – such as Imam Al Ghazali. Of course there are people who consider he was ‘mad’ when he wrote but regardless, you should show the views of past scholars and why they differ from yours – ideally with backing from the Quran or Ahadeeth.

almuqarraboon has some valid points too I feel.

If it is a view or insight, my humble suggestion is to ask people to consider your view rather than stating ‘It is …’ – especially for some of our, mashAllah, eager younger brothers and sisters who may take to heart what they read online.

JazakAllah and I hope you will take this as constructive feedback – building a relationship with Allah Almighty is too serious a deal to take in a casual, light-hearted fashion I feel.

Wassalam

4

oh i am impatiently waiting the next article !
For the list of experience that you have listed ,
it is true and it happen to me but
I have to difficulties to shut my mind up .
I have try hard but seems so far does not work yet .
( so sad and frustrated )
I hope you gonna include the solution for it too in the next article .

5

You’re perfect (why thank you)…even though you sin right now (sounds good)…because the Most Powerful wants you that way right now (still sounds good but did we just leave free will at the door?)…but you must take the path to forgiveness (hang on I thought we left free will at the door?)…however if you’re not taking the path right now that’s ok because if the Most Powerful wanted you to be any other way then you’d be that way right now (ah ok we did)…but if you don’t take the path bad things will happen to you (eh?!)…turns out your not that perfect (oh)…

Just my take on the first bit of this. Happy to be forcefully rebuked.

6

“Al Muqarraboon”:
Your ‘ideal self’ is your ‘idea’ or fantasy of an imagined perfect version of yourself. If that fantasy makes you happy, hold on to it. Some dreams make you smile, especially when you know you’re dreaming. But we both know it is not real – it is in your mind. What is real, is who you are right now.

It’s easy to say “don’t become discouraged along the way”, but the question is: how?

There is another model of ‘self-improvement’ I’ll be writing about in the next few articles that doesn’t depend on beating yourself up for not being perfect. I hope you’ll find it to be much more ‘Islamic’ and grounded in our spiritual tradition than the other model(s) presented in the mainstream ‘personal development’ industry so far.

“Umm Mu’adh”:
Jazakillah Khair! I look forward to writing it, insha’Allah! (By the way, your son has a fantastic name, masha’Allah).

“nc”:
Jazak Allah Khair. Your input is extremely valuable to me. I hope my commitment to the truth comes out above all else. After all, I worship the Truth (al-Haqq). The problem is, to me, the opinions of prominent past Muslim scholars and writers feel like they contradict each other. That’s because they each thought for themselves, reflected on the Quran & Sunnah, and shared their insights.

This article shares one insight. It’s not the whole picture. 1000 words is just enough to make one good point 😉

You can consider everything I write on this website to be my own opinion, based on what I’ve read & experienced. As with everything you read, and every speaker you listen to: take what is of benefit, and leave the rest.

“hidayahtaufik:”
I look forward to writing it insha’Allah. Pray that I will write it, and that Allah inspires me with words of truth.

“Just a thought…”:
How does you being perfect (with all your in-built human imperfection), in this moment, take away your free will?!? Would be eager to get your perspective on future articles iA.

7

Can you then clarify your point “Because if the Most Powerful wanted you to be any other way right now, that’s the way you would be. But you’re not. You’re the way you are.”. To me that can be easily interpreted as I am who I am because the Most Powerful says I am which doesn’t leave a lot of room for free will which then makes the rest of your argument a contradiction.

Maybe just lost in communication but this is how I read it.

8

Ah, I get you. Here’s how it I understand it…

You are the way the Almighty wants you to be. And the Most Powerful is giving you the power and responsibility to choose. Everything that has happened up to (and perhaps including) this moment was meant to be (Qadr Allah). The future is your choice, and you are responsible for your choices. The present moment is the leverage point – the only place we can have any impact.

9

Please explain how it can be that everything that has happened “was meant to be” predetermined, decreed fated or destined by the Most Powerful and yet the future (which at some point will be the past) is up to us. If the Most Powerful already knows exactly what we are going to do then irrespective of whether this is planned or not it begs the question where’s the free will or the responsibility you talk of in that? Why not just send us off now to paradise or hell accordingly?

I labour the point for the sake of clarity over an important and fundamental issue.

10

That is an age-old question my friend. The moment you have clarity on it, let it go. If you don’t have clarity on it, after reading this, go back to thinking of other stuff, or clear your mind of thought altogether, and appreciate your life. It will occur to you when you’re ready to see it – it’s known as a divine insight or ‘opening’.

Know that you will only ever be able to see this from a human perspective, bounded by time & space. The Eternal sees this from outside of time & space.

As Muslims scholars in the past have said it:
“What hits you was never going to miss. What misses you was never going to hit.”

The all-Knowing knows what choices we will make, but does not force us to make them. The all-Powerful gives us the power to make those choices, and knows what we will do with that power. The Most Loving loves you just the way you are.

11

the clarity of ALLAH having knowledge over everything, destiny and pre-destiny should not be confuse by any muslim, only kufars gets into argument about issues like this. please brothers and sisters, sought the right guidance from Allah s.a.w on fundamental of faith.

12

You really make it seem so easy with your presentation but I find this topic to be actually something which I think I would never understand. It seems too complex and very broad for me. I’m looking forward for your next post, I’ll try to get the hang of it!

13

It simple for example a teacher gives his students a test but they know their students level. The teacher knows who will pass and who will fail. The teacher also knows who will study and prepare for the test and who wouldn’t.

Allah knows his slaves better than a teacher. He created us and he knows what is in our hearts and what is running through our thoughts right now. Allah knows that you will repent and turn back to him. However you still have a choice on how to live your life.

Allah knows those who will choose his path and enter jannah and those who will follow their Desire.

Hope that clarifies things for you.

14

My issue is not with the idea that Allah has knowledge over everything past, present and future. With this being the case and Allah knowing exactly what we are going to do then I ask is the choice we are given in our lives really free will given that we are to be judged by the Most Powerful who already knows the outcome?

If someone gave a child a test and knew exactly how that child would perform on that test before they even carried it out then it is no longer a test. The child although perceiving free will in the choices made has already been predetermined to perform with a certain outcome defeating the point of giving a test in the first place.

Happy to accept that I cannot comprehend the ways of the Most Powerful in my human form but just want to make sure that this is the assumption I have to make.

Also I just want to make clear I am not arguing or trying to be confrontational or ram any of my own views down anyone else’s throats. I just want to get clear on Islam’s view on this topic. I realise it slightly veers off the topic of personal growth! Sorry.

15

Just a Thought – you seem like a really sincere, and sweet person. It is a bit off-topic, but that’s completely okay, if that is what’s occurring to you right now. I pray you get crystal clarity on this apparent paradox. “Insight” is what you get when Allah lets you see through a paradox. It will become clearer & clearer to you as you read the Quran, and see it more from Allah’s perspective, as far as that’s possible in our human form.

Using your example, here’s how it seems to me…

The test isn’t for the Judge; it’s for the student. From our perspective we have complete, absolute free will to do as well as want on the test. You’re exercising this free will right now, by reading this response. The fact that Allah knows how we will do on the test, and allows us to do as well as we want doesn’t contradict that we can do as well as we choose to.

Allah knows what we’ll do, and lets us do it, but doesn’t make us do it.

16

Thank you everyone for your replies and guidance. They have been so very helpful. Can I just put one last question out there? And please understand that in no way do I mean any offence by this if it causes any, I am just a regular joe trying to find answers in life.

If Allah knows everything we are going to does he therefore already know when he brings an individual into existence whether that person will ultimately go to heaven or hell? If so, does this mean Allah knowingly brings individuals in to existence that will go to hell?

Also can I just say to Luqman Akim that everyone, believers and non-believers, should at all times test and challenge the fundamentals of their faith (whatever this may be in) for this is path by which our faith can become stronger (or weaker depending on what one finds). One should always experiment with truth. Faith without wisdom is dangerous in all aspects of life therefore I believe comments like only kufars get into arguments like this should not be encouraged.

17

Asak I hope I’m not too late, just randomly happened to read these comments.
I want to give a reply to the question, “why doesn’t Allah put us in hell or heaven directly, if he knows where we’re going to land up eventually?”

SubhanAllah, if Allah swt did that, wouldn’t there be human beings unconvinced?
Would they not on the day of judgement ask Allah why they were not given a CHANCE?
They wouldn’t agree to just be chucked into the fire of hell, without being given any chances.
So Allah gives us a chance by sending us to earth, every day is a new chance to do good. To be a better human being, before you can be jugded. Allah swt knows the judgment, but you don’t. And its for you to see on the day of judgment what you did throughout your life, as Allah swt says in the Quran, that you will be made to remember everything. And those who enter the fire will be convinced that they deserve it.

Besides that, I want to make another point. Why doesn’t Allah swt do things this way or that way, is actually none of our business. Once we acknowledge our Creator, our Master, He does things out His will and it is not for us to question His authority.

If you’ve hired a maid and she shifts your furniture however she likes, and if you put it back, she keeps asking you why you do it or why do you like it that way, you’d think that she should really mind her own business. You just “like” certain things. And having to explain why is not your duty towards her.
So Allah doesn’t have to explain to us why He likes to do what He likes to do.

But of course if you intend to understand your Creator better, you should make dua to him and you will start to understand Him, as you study the Quran.

The Quran so clearly suggests that everything Allah swt does, He loves to do in order, with a measure, according to a fixed procedure. He does not do things randomly. Which is why He being the Just that He is, gives us a chance to prove to ourselves (not to Allah) what we deserve in our hereafter.

The test is for the students to know their own capabilities. Not for the teacher, because in this case Allah swt already knows everything.
However, human beings wouldn’t consider it fair if they weren’t given a chance to prove themselves.
If you send a proposal to a woman you really like for marriage and she denies you saying, “I know you’re not going to be a good husband,”
You know you’re not going to be convinced
UNTIL you’ve been given a chance to prove yourself, and then you’ve failed. Then you may even walk out of the door most willingly!

Instead of putting each one in heaven or hell, he does it in a fixed procedure, in an appointed term, in a Just manner.

Alhamdulilah, Allah knows best, hope I answered your question.

18

Assalamualekum,

The young and impatient minds wander a lot to see themselves from the point of view of others who might be compared for betterness or worseness. Not all minds have these thoughts that “will i acheive 100% perfection in my work ( or activities those excite most )?”. As you grow old and gain experience in life, learn lessons compare mistakes of yourself and others around us, our mind makes benchmarkings for reaching here to there ( means from making things better, good, best different levels of achievments ). The soul also wants itself to attain these benchmarks so the mind and heart wanders for perfection of goals. The impatiance decreases as we grow older and older as gains sense, wisdom beside knowledge. ( wallah i can write a complete book on this, its just a glimpse from my perspective )

khudahafiz.

19

Aslmkm ww.
Lol many many years late… but can’t seem to rest with the question posed by Just a thought floating here unanswered or without another angle on it.

‘…if so does Allah knowingly bring individuals into existence that will go to hell?’

Its not bringing individuals into existence that ‘will go to hell’ but that they ‘will CHOOSE to go to hell’ ie. choosing to do the actions that leads to that destination.

Also Allah swt. IS Most Just, Most Kind, Most Merciful, Most Compassionate, Most Loving ….and it is stated in many places how Allah swt wishes good for us. In light of knowing about these qualities of Allah swt. it is impossible that Allah swt would create people and put them in hell just for the fun of it and without them having a choice in the matter.

And that is most amazing that if He wanted He could do that and just tell us ‘yup thats how it is, so what ‘ and no one could ever do anything about it …but it isn’t like that, Alhumdulilah!…. He really is the Most Loving and Most Merciful and Most Compassionate…

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